F*ck signs!

Okay, before you jump to judging me for using the mother of all curse words in the title of my post, hear me out. 

If you have read any of my previous entries, you have most likely gotten the fact that I think everything is a "sign" and am always looking for the deeper meaning for why things happen, etc.  So today, I was chatting with a very good friend about our current situation.  I told her what we were up to now (see previous post) and how I was surprised at how well I've been handling interactions with our new niece (the Hubs on the other hand, seems to be having a little more trouble with it but more on that later).  I don't seem to be as sad as I thought I would be upon seeing her.  I just love to hold her and kiss her and stare at her little face wondering and hoping whether I'll have one of my own someday soon and that if I do, that he or she be just as perfect and precious as she is.  I was watching the Hubs hold her yesterday and was nearly brought to tears just watching him with her and our older niece.  He's just such a natural and doesn't even realize it.  Sometimes when I stop and start to think that maybe instead of being parents, we'll just be the best Aunt and Uncle there ever was, I realize how much I would hate to not be able to see him like this with children of our own.  Almost seems like a waste of such a great quality in a man.

So my friend, who we will call Judy, told me that I really couldn't give up.  That she thought we would make some of the best parents around and that regardless of what happens or how hard it is, we are meant to be parents.  And that brings me to the title of this post.  She said (and I quote), "No matter what, you can't give up.  You have got to stop taking things as a sign.  God takes good people and babies from this world everyday, so F*CK signs!"  And that is just exactly what I needed to hear from someone.  She was absolutely right.  Not saying that God is a horrible being, but it's true - awful things happen to wonderful people and innocent babies every single day.  It's not my job to try to find the meaning to all of it.  We just have to accept it, make the best of what we can and move on.  It's really all we can do. 

So my new mantra is "F*ck signs!"  I'm making my own and all signs point to this one: