Wow - I'm pregnant...

I'm pregnant.  I'm pregnant.  I'M PREGNANT!!!

I still can't believe it.  We've known for a week and a half, just told my best friend yesterday, and am still trying to make myself believe this may actually be for real.

We took a break from all of the meds and procedures this month while we waited for our appointment with our new RE.  I told myself it wasn't going to happen on it's own and had finally accepted the fact that IVF might be our only hope - even though I was still terrified of it.  And my period was a little late, and I had tested negative, so just figured my body was messed up for being on it's "own" this month.  But then I took one more test just before I called my doctor and got a BFP.  I couldn't believe it, so I took another.  And it said the same thing.

That night, I gave the Hubs an envelope with the tests in there - and he was speechless.  I still think he didn't believe it.  We were awaiting the HCG test results to confirm it and he knew that from the last miscarriage, even that first number didn't mean that the baby was here to stay.  So of course he's cautious to be too celebratory.  The next morning, I took one of the digital tests which of course read "Pregnant" and for some reason, this made him believe it more.  I have to agree...there's something about seeing that word instead of two little lines that helps make it seem real.

Today is Mother's Day and I would love to tell our mothers today, but as of now, the Hubs wants to wait.  We find out the results from our third HCG test tomorrow and then may do an ultrasound sometime this week depending upon where the levels are (I think they have to be at 1,000 for anything to show on screen).  Just really hoping that the levels are high enough tomorrow that we can get the ultrasound soon so this can feel more real.  Then, the little guy or gal just needs to hang on until Christmas or so (Christmas, did I say we would be having ourselves a Christmas baby?). 

To make things even better, I also found out that one of my good friends who has been struggling with IF is pregnant after her third IVF round and is also due at Christmas. It killed me not to tell her we were going to be going through our pregnancies together...

Fingers crossed for lots and lots of sticky baby dust and 9 more months of a healthy pregnancy with a healthy baby at the end.  I'm still in shock, but really hoping to believe this is OUR baby.  He or she is finally ready to make us parents - and that is the most wonderful gift in the world.