A New Year...

It's funny to me that a new year has begun because I really don't feel it.  I have high hopes for 2011, but I don't feel like they are "in play" yet.  We weren't able to do IUI this month since my surge was on Friday and my RE's office was closed on Friday and Saturday and Sunday.  Going in on Monday would have probably been a waste, so they advised that we time intercourse instead.  So we did.  But I'm not feeling good about it for some reason.

I have an appointment with my regular OB/GYN tomorrow (for a well-woman exam) and I'm a bit interested to hear if he's with me on taking a break for a while.  I really don't feel that my RE's office is helping much.  They give me Clomid and do the same thing every month.  Sure, we haven't been able to do IUI the past two months, but I just feel like they should be doing some sort of monitoring or additional testing to make sure that our timing is right.  I mean, what if I surge for like 48 hours or more before I actually ovulate and that's why we're missing it?  I suppose there could be all sorts of reasons for why it's not working, but since I don't know enough about all of this, that's why I would rely on them.  And I feel like they are failing me.

I also have my first appointment with my acupuncturist on Wednesday evening.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit nervous.  Not that I'm scared of the tiny needles, I'm really not.  My first appointment will be more of a "chat and therapy" session than anything and while I feel that may help me, I'm a little nervous about opening up (and yes, the possibility of getting all emotional) with someone I just met.  I am also really nervous about the possibility of this not working.  I know, I know...I'm not being very good at being optimistic (one of my resolutions - along with working out 3-4 times per week and I haven't done that very well either).  I am so scared of another thing that I'm hopeful and positive about to fail me. 

The Hubs and I have been chatting and we're both pretty much in the same place right now.  We feel like we just need a break for a while.  No more drugs, ovulation tests or timed sex...just to give us a break for a while and let us go back to being us.  I am sure I'm going to have a hard time with this...I have been tracking my temperature for nearly two years now and monitoring my fertile times, so it will be a huge change to stop all of this.  But it will sure be a relief if I can give it up for a while.

So here's to a new year of new possibilities and new options.  If I don't end up preggers this month, then back to "natural and relaxed."  Hopefully.  We shall see.

Hoping for a happy new year...